The Haze Between Fixes

In the haze between fixes
Through the cramps and the pain
You somehow find words
That will hurt me again

And I should know by now
It’s not you really talkin’
They’re empty words and empty threats
Wracked with shakes and sweats

For so long I knew this was going on
When I look back it was plain
You found poison on the street
And shot it up your vein

What’s the real reason?
Why did this become
The thing you let define you
That you can’t tear away from?

It’s your ego, working against you,
Makes you think you’re grand
So you lash out at others
And we can’t understand

That you’re using us
Manipulating, causing fear and worry
And you like the rush you get from that
You’re never even sorry

But when you dole out this vile stuff
We see the truth behind it
You’re weak, shallow, not so tough
Small and fragile and wounded

Instead of taking help
You throw it back at us
It’s all our fault you say,
You’re not willing to confess

That it hurts to be alone today -
When you look in mirror and see
By your choice, you’ve driven us all away,
The way you are is not ‘cause of me.

Kira Braun